Our carport is home to the golden behemoth no more. The Librarian, Master Builder and I took it to its new home bright and early this morning. The Librarian and Master Builder didn’t even look back but I must admit to taking a final look at the vehicle. It looked back sadly, another fleck of paint peeling off its bonnet, before I turned and walked away.

Less than an hour later we were the proud owners of a brand new, shiny, Aztec blue Corolla. Aztec blue? Look, I’m just an average guy. To me colours come in blues, reds, greens, etc. Shades are simply dark or light. I had no idea that the Aztecs had their own shade of blue. It turns out that Aztec blue, or Toyota’s interpretation of it, is one cool colour. At some angles the blue turns green. The car is a chameleon, people.

And that new car smell! Why hasn’t someone bottled it and marketed it as an air freshener? It would be a brilliant alternative to pine, lemon and “musky rainforest on a warm summer’s day”. “Scent of new car” would sell like hotcakes.

The Librarian and I love our new box on wheels but Master Builder takes it to giddy heights. He has taken to sitting in the back seat at various times during the day. He wants to know when we are going for the next drive. We should rack up thousands of kilometres before the week’s out if he has his way.

Now excuse me while I organize another sacrifice to the Aztec blue wonder (the first sacrifice was my bank balance).

PS Those of you looking for a new car in Perth (Western Australia, not Scotland) would do well to pay Galleria Toyota in Morley a visit. Tell them Flying Saucer Jones sent you. It will fetch blank looks but tell them anyway.